The Avengers Celebrate Holidays
by i-wanna-be-an-avenger-32
Summary: All the Avengers live under one roof: The Avengers Tower (yes, previously Stark Tower). This is a series of one-shots about everyone's favorite group of heroes celebrating different holidays. Read and Review!
1. Cinco de Mayo

**A/N: Contains some spoilers from Captain America 2!**

**ALSO: I am not giving up on Internship, I've just been taking a break on it... I'm trying to figure out where the story is going to go. So don't worry, I'm not abandoning it! Just a hiatus.**

Everyone knew _something_ was up when Tony and Clint were bringing bags upon bags of tortillas, tortilla chips, Corona and Dos Equis, salsa and other dips, beef, seasonings, lettuce, tomatoes, olives, cheese, avocados, and onions into the kitchen. Even though each of them wore three sombrero hats, the others couldn't seem to piece it together.

"Uh... whatcha got there, fellas?" Natasha asked, smirking at how ridiculous they looked.

"It's Cinco de Mayo, Tash!" Clint exclaimed, setting his bags down. "How could you forget the world's best excuse to stuff yourself full of Mexican food?" He removed his sombreros to look at them, placing a dark purple one back on his head and a crimson red one on Natasha's.

"What is this 'Cinco de Mayo'?" Thor boomed. He had been in the kitchen for a while, slowly but surely demolishing its Pop Tart supply.

Tony remozed his sombreros as well, placing a bright red one back on his head and handing a dark blue one to Thor. "It's a Mexican holiday celebrating... something. Point is, we get to stuff our faces with tacos and guacamole."

"You did get the extra spicy salsa, right, Clint?" Natasha asked, becoming concerned that she would have to settle for mild.

"Yup," the archer said, waving the others over. They were in a living room by the kitchen, just like Natasha had just been before she came over to see what Tony and Clint were doing.

Bruce was given a green sombrero and Steve got a bright blue one.

"Does anyone actually know how to cook tacos?" Bruce asked. The group looked around at each other. None of them were exactly master chefs. Natasha and Clint were always on missions before the thing that happened with S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA, so they had no time to learn to cook; Thor was from Asgard, where, as a prince, he had chefs to cook for him; Tony was a billionaire with better things to do than prepare his own meals; Bruce had been living in a third-world country for a while, with no real ovens or lots of ingrediants; and Steve had been frozen in the ice for 70 or so years, so even if he knew how to cook before that (which he didn't anyway), there was no way he could even bother with modern ovens.

"Crap," Tony said, opening one of the many six-packs of Corona. Yes, many. With Tony being Tony, Thor being Asgardian and having it take a while for him to get drunk, and Steve not able to get drunk at all (at least, not yet. Tony and Clint have been planning on forcing him to drink loads of the strongest stuff they could find), the Avengers went through a lot of alcohol.

"You could always call Pepper?" Bruce suggested, but it ended up sounding like a question.

"Business trip," Tony explained. He paused. "Hey, Point Break, you're kind of dating that one chick, right? The scientist? I've been dying to meet her, I hear she's really hot—Smart. I mean smart. Anyway, you dating the scientist?"

Thor smiled. "Ah, yes, Jane. Why do you ask?"

"Call her up. She probably knows how to cook tacos."

Thor paused. "I do not know how to contact her through your Midgardian devices. I will be back shortly." He summoned Mjonir, breaking a wall or two, and flew through a window, also breaking that.

"Sometime I hate that guy," Tony said. "Is it really necessary to destroy the tower somehow every week?"

"At least we'll get tacos," Clint said, thinking only of the food. Typical.

Thor actually returned with two women: Jane and Darcy. "Hello, friends!" Thor greeted the rest of the Avengers. "Meet Jane and Darcy!"

Jane smiled warmly at each of them, shaking their hands. "Jane Foster," she said to them. "So nice to finally meet Thor's teammates."

Darcy, meanwhile, was full-out fangirling. She was holding in squeals, practically bouncing. "Hey guys! Darcy Lewis." She turned to Thor. "Your friends are _hot. _I mean, I knew they were beforehand, cause, you know, you guys are all over the news and magazines and stuff, but in person... holy crap."

Tony smirked, Steve turned bright red, Bruce kind of smiled, and Clint smirked as well. Natasha figured Darcy wasn't talking about her, and even if she was, she didn't care. She was too busy sharpening a knife.

"Tony Stark, of Stark Industries," Tony introduced, approaching the women. "I'm assuming you've heard of me."

"Yes, I have, Mr. Stark. I'm actually really interested on your work on—"

"No, duh, we've heard of you, Tony freaking-billionaire Stark!" Darcy interrupted. "This is, amazing; I'm practically meeting five celebrities all in one day!"

"Can you cook tacos, Jane?" Clint asked, cutting to the chase. "Our lack of cooking skills kind of spoiled our fiesta."

"Oh, um... yeah, of course," Jane replied, and with that, she was down to work.

The whole time Jane was cooking, Darcy was practically interrogating the Avengers with _very _fangirly questions.

Jane and Darcy hadn't stayed for the meal, as they had places to be and things to do (much to Darcy's dismay). The Avengers didn't care—more for them, plus, guests tended to judge their... different way of life. Each of the Avengers were odd. Thor ate at least ten tacos, Steve drank an entire six pack of Dos Equis and still stayed sober, Tony was drunk as hell and was actually serenading JARVIS, Natasha shot the ceiling when someone noticed a fly buzzing around (and didn't miss—the fly died), Clint ate perched on top of the counter by the dining room table (as usual), and Bruce had to shut his eyes and count to ten to avoid Hulking out when Tony started crushing tortilla chips in Bruce's hair.

Needless to say, Cinco de Mayo was like every other day in the Avengers Tower, except with sombreros.


	2. Easter

**A/N: So yeah I'm not exactly doing the holidays in chronological order, sorry.**

Steve walked into the tower after his morning jog, thinking about trying to figure out how to work the blender so he could make a smoothie. He had never had a smoothie, but he _had _heard Natasha talking about them, and seen her drinking them, and he guessed they looked alright.

As he walked towards the kitchen, he heard something crack under his foot. "What the...?" he said, looking under the soles of his running shoes to investigate.

An egg. He had stepped on a raw egg, and his shoe was coated with hard shell and gooey egg insides.

Steve sighed. "STARK!" he called. Why was Tony always up to something?

Tony appeared in the kitchen after a couple minutes. "Would it have killed you to texted or something?" He paused. "Wait, do you know how to—"

"Yes, Tony, I know how to text message. Banner taught me and Thor a week or so ago. Anyway... why did you place an egg on the ground? I'm getting real sick of your pranks."

Tony rolled his eyes. "I didn't put an _egg_ on the ground. That would be the dumbest prank ever."

"Then why did I step on an egg?" Steve asked, growing irritable.

"Don't know, don't care," Tony said, sitting on a barstool. _Crack. _He immediately jumped up, to find a cracked egg on the seat, and most likely on the back on his pants. "Okay, now I care. JARVIS, please tell everyone that we're having an emergency Avengers meeting in the kitchen."

"Will do, sir."

Soon, everyone appeared in the kitchen. Natasha was fuming mad, Clint was trying not to laugh, Bruce was darting his eyes around like he was nervous something would jump at him, and Thor had a big ol' stupid grin on his face.

"Who's been putting eggs everywhere?!" Tony spat.

Natasha groaned. "It's not you, then? Damn, I was about to... nevermind. Point is, who the hell did it?!" When she turned, Tony and Steve could see that an egg was crushed on the back of her head. "I swear, I can't even lay on a couch in this place anymore without _something _happening!"

Clint was laughing now.

"Barton, I swear—" Tony started, but was interrupted by Thor.

"It was I, Metal Man! Do not blame Barton; he is innocent. The man was kind enough to tell me of your Midgardian holiday, Easter, and he explained that in this holiday, you place eggs around the house for others to find, correct?"

Everyone let out an "ohhh," in unison.

"Thor... usually they're plastic eggs, filled with candy," Bruce explained. "But... thanks for trying, I guess."

There was a silence in the room, until Tony started to grin and said, "...Wait... is it Easter?"

"Yeah," Clint said, bored now.

"I'll be right back," Tony said. "Don't move a muscle, any of you."

And with that, Tony left the tower.

When he was back, he handed everyone huge solid chocolate bunnies, put a rabbit ear headband on Bruce's head (most likely a strange attempt at getting him to Hulk-out), and dumped a basket of plastic eggs on Thor's head.

"And now, we feast," Tony said, and they all ripped apart the packaging of their rabbits and started eating.

First to finish was Thor, whose chocolate rabbit was gone in three minutes.

Next to finish, surprisingly enough, was Natasha.

After that, the order was Steve, then Bruce, then Tony, then Clint.

"So... Thor... how many eggs, exactly, did you 'hide'?" asked Bruce, a bit wary.

Thor thought for a second. "Four dozen exactly."

The Avengers groaned and went on their search, not wanting 45 (three had alrady been crushed, remember) eggs to be rotting around the tower.

They found only 44, which had been a huge stress-inducer for the rest of them.

Tony found the last one on a pillow in his lab—it was there because he tended to fall asleep while working—about three weeks later when he decided to finally work on something.

The smell was not good, and neither was Tony's attitude for a while afterward.


	3. Superbowl Sunday

**A/N: This was requested by a reviewer. I hope you all enjoy! PS: This is this year's Superbowl: Seahawks vs Broncos.**

The big day was here: Super Bowl Sunday. All the Avengers were psyched—they had even filled in Thor on all the details, so everyone knew what was happening, and everyone was totally pumped. They dedicated a whole floor to it for the day: a kitchen full of nachos, chips, dips, and other junk food that was perfect for game-watching (including beer. Lots of beer.), a theater-sized TV, a big leather couch, and decorations everywhere. There was only one problem: not every Avenger was rooting for the same team.

Clint, Natasha, and Thor were Seahawk fans. Tony, Bruce, and Steve were Broncos fans. Everyone was kinda worried about what would happen when one team lost, but they didn't have time to worry. The game was starting!

They all sat on the couch in a specific order: Seahawk fans to the left, Broncos fans to the right. The order was Thor, Clint, Natasha, Steve, Bruce, Tony. They were all eager, and making sure they were 100% prepared. They each held their own bag of chips (well, Thor had three), their own pack of beer (they weren't sure how much of anything they would need) and their own 2 liter bottle of soda. They watched, eager, as the game started.

After a long time of snacking and drinking, they figured they didn't need to stare so closely at the screen. Natasha got up to go to the bathroom, Clint ran to the tortilla chips and chili con queso dip, Thor became busy eating some baked potatoes Bruce was cooking for some reason (that reason possibly being that it was the only thing he knew how to cook), Steve was mesmorized by some modern thing on the screen, and Tony... well...

Natasha exited the bathroom, planning on simply sitting back on the couch, but obviously, that couldn't be done. Tony threw a bucket of Bronco orange paint at her. Bad move.

"Stark." She gritted her teeth and grinned at him, which scared him more than her holding a knife would have. And Natasha knew that. "You should know better."

"Hey, Tony, what kind of flowers do you want at your funeral?" Clint asked, noticing the paint and Natasha's smile-glare.

"Guys, come look at this!" Steve called. Everyone had been so distracted, they had forgotten to watch the commercials.

They all dashed over to the couch and sat, some of them jumping over the back to get to their seat. Natasha made sure to ruin Tony's couch with the orange paint.

It was an ad for action figures. AVENGERS action figures. "...want to save the day like your favorite real-life hero?" the ad asked. They all watched, flabbergasted, as little action figures that looked like them appeared. Well, Bruce's looked like the Other Guy, but whatever.

When the ad ended, Natasha was the first to speak. "They're selling doll-versions of us for $19.99?" she asked. "At _Walmart_? Walmart." She shook her head.

"Seriously. All we did was save the world," Tony said sarcastically.

And then the game came back on, and they forgot all about it.

They had already gone through four and a half bags of chips, about a liter of soda pop, and two six packs of beer by halftime. None of them felt like watching the halftime show, so Natasha decided to get her revenge on Tony.

"Um, I'm going to the bathroom. Clint, make sure Tony doesn't try to throw any more paint?" she said innocently enough sounding. Clint nodded, and Natasha went in the direction of the bathroom.

Luckily for her, Clint had shown her how to get around the air vents of the tower one time when they were having a prank war. Natasha climbed into by the bathroom and crawled through it, spying on the guys.

Natasha always had a weapon on her. Always. Even when it looked impossible by what she was wearing, she had a weapon on her. Today, it happened to be a knife. And a small pistol. And another knife. So maybe she had a couple more than usual on this day.

She bent the vent, slowly, carefully, knowing she'd have to hurry or the guys would get suspicious, but if she went too fast they'd hear. She got the vent barely open enough and threw the knife so it popped a Broncos balloon that was very close to Tony.

"Damn it," Tony said. "We have an angry Black Widow on the loose."

They all covered their heads in sync. Natasha bit her lip so she didn't giggle, and clenched her fist so she didn't kill anyone.

She ran through the vents, silently. They now knew she was in the vents, but... they didn't need to know where.

She finally got to a better spying spot in the vents, and watched Tony's hand reach into a bowl of Chex mix. Right when it was out of the way, so it wouldn't get hit but would be very close, she shot the bowl with just one bullet from her pistol. She heard a yelp from Tony.

And she ran, exiting the vents from a different place, and crept up behind Tony with the stealth of an assassin. Literally.

She grabbed a two liter of Dr Pepper and poured it right on his head. And then she walked right by him casually and sat back on the couch, snuggling right up to Clint, her middle finger up right where Tony could see it.

Tony was obviously pissed, but didn't feel like dying on game day, so he sat down on the couch with everyone and watched the game, hoping the Broncos would win.

**...timeskip...**

They all watched as the Seahawks won. Steve shrugged. "Too bad," he said.

Bruce exited the room quickly, most likely going to the room Tony made specifically for Hulk-out moments. Tony groaned and flopped on the ground, kind of drunk and feeling defeated.

Natasha and Clint, of course, weren't gonna let it go. Clint tossed Natasha a blue can of spray paint, grabbed himself a lime green one, and they painted the walls and the floor and Tony's couch and the TV with as much Seahawks colors as they could. Natasha tossed her can to Thor, who she thought would be able to catch it (he always caught Mjonir), but Thor dropped it and squeezed it too har while picking it up, causing it to explode. There was a loud Hulk roar heard—hopefully he really was in his Hulk-out room.

The elevator dinged, and Pepper walked out. "So, who won?" she asked. She then looked around, her mouth dropping open. Paint was everywhere; there was a huge sticky puddle of soda on the ground; a chip bowl was somehow broken; there were popped balloons; chips were crumbled all over the couch; one of the Avengers was MIA; beer stained the carpet; Clint and Natasha, one of them covered in paint, were snickering; Steve sat calmly like nothing was happening; Thor looked guilty; and Tony was lying on the ground. "Tony, what the hell happened? I thought you were just going to watch the football game!" She crossed her arms. "Why do I ever let you guys in the tower alone?"


End file.
